Thor and the Zoo
by egpytianlily13
Summary: Thor has lost another game of Mario Kart, and he's pouting. The only way to cheer him up: the Zoo! -yeah, I'm not good with summarys. A little oneshot about Thor and his odd experience at the strange Midgardian "zoo"


Thor and the Zoo

Thor was upset. Once again, the master archer had bested him in the Midgardian game, "Mario Kart". Though he knew little of Midgard and the games played for entertainment, he knew it was strange. On Asgard, the games he and the Warriors Three not only improved their battle skills, but they were amusing as well. He sulked, crossing his arms across his barrel chest and sitting in the corner of the massive game room, his back to Clint. Clint tapped him on the shoulder, his human voice still funny and small in Thor's ear, "C'mon, Meatswing, wanna play another round?" Thor stuck out his bottom lip and shook his head tightly. It was hilarious, given his height of nine feet and the massive hammer clenched tightly in his hand. To Clint, Thor was a seven year old trapped in the body of a god. He needed to be watched, he knew very little, and he was a terrible loser, especially considering how often he lost. Clint groaned. When Thor pouted, the only way to get him to cheer up was to show him some new Midgardian "wonder" that was still a mystery to him. "Tasha!" He called, eyes fixed on the stairs. The soft thump of tennis shoes on clear steps was barely audible, and Natasha Romanoff appeared, dressed in a sweatshirt that seemed to swallow her petite little self up and a pair of slightly baggy jeans. She glared at him, but her fierceness was broken by a huge yawn. "What have you done now, Barton? I was taking a nap!" She grumbled, rubbing her eyes with a sleeve-cloaked arm. Clint jabbed a finger in the direction of the sulking god. She raised an eyebrow, "He lost again, didn't he... Which game was it this time?" Clint sighed. "Mario Kart." She tapped a finger on her chin, thinking. After a few heartbeats, she'd apparently come up with a solution. "The zoo!" She exclaimed.

Thor had been asking questions throughout the entire 75 minute car ride. To Clint and Natasha, it felt like days trapped inside the mini-van with Thor hunched over in the backseat, questions pouring endlessly from his mouth. Finally, she'd had enough after he'd made a remark about the odd lack of wings on the Midgardian horse. Convincing Clint, who was driving, to stop and fill up the tank and the next gas station (though he needed little convincing), she beckoned Thor closer. As he squeezed between the seats, she rapidly yanked off her tennis shoe and pulled off her sock. When he looked up again, she shoved the dirty sock in his mouth. Thor spent the rest of the hour patting his tongue with a napkin, trying to rid the taste of foot from his mouth.

Thor was skeptical as soon as he entered the zoo. Pointing at the monkey exhibit, he commented in his booming voice, "Are these creatures deformed? Their fur lacks the lustrous green that is proper for such beasts." Clint slapped a palm to his face as several shocked zoo visitors turned to see nine foot tall Thor, towering over Clint and Natasha, waving a hand at the monkeys. Natasha muttered under her breath about proving the whole immortality theory wrong.

The visit to the zoo had been a disaster; the horses, apparently, were supposed to have six legs, elephants were supposed to be able to crawl like spiders, and lions were much more ferocious. They were ready to give up, until they finally passed the reptile section. Thor lumbered inside the building, stopping in front of a spacey glass tank filled with jungle-y greenery and rich dirt. Suddenly, he caught sight of the thing the tank contained. The chameleon lazily rolled an eye in Thor's direction, causing the god to leap backwards in surprise and point excitedly at the tank. "Look! This lizard looks just like a leaf!" Natasha raised her head from her hands. The chameleon crawled slowly down a plastic branch, his three toes obvious and his halting gait drawing a deep laugh from Thor. "He is quite amusing!" Bellowed the god. The chameleon's bright emeral disguise faded to the dark brown of the plastic stick that it sat upon. Thor gaped. "This creature is amazing! What is it called?" Thor was excited as a little kid playing with a puppy for the first time. Clint snickered, "It's a lizard. A veiled chameleon, to be exact. They change color." Thor gasped as the chameleon slowly finished its journey down to plastic stick and clambered onto a bright pink flower and changed to a light rosy color. "I must have one of these... Ca Melons!" He exclaimed. Natasha giggled as he burst from the reptile room and dashed to the car.

***Hi guys! Egyptianlily13 here! I might be doing a follow-up on** **this** **one**, **even though in the summary it says it's a one-shot. Thanks to Ballerina Terminator. They gave me the idea. Anyway, check out their Avengers FanFiction, "Heroes in 100 Words". If you want more from me right now, you can look at my X-Men FanFiction, "The Girl with the Silver Wings". Thanks!**

**~egyptianlily13**


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